Living in The Past Part 1

This post is part 1 of a 3-part series on living in the past. Stay tuned for more!

Are you someone who “lives” in the past? Someone who is sustained by memories of the past?

If so, you are not alone.

About a week ago, a friend and I had a chat, and our conversation led to us being people who use memories to drive us on, or in other words, living in the past. What does God say about living in the past? I wondered.

So, for the next few days, I looked up verses about remembering the past, and what I discovered was truly thought provoking for me!

The first passage I came across was Isaiah 43:18-19:

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

God doesn’t want us to dwell on the past. He’s doing something right here, right now, and even though we might not be able to see it, He wants us to focus on what He is doing. We may be in a rough patch, struggling to cope with something, trying to cling on to what little hope there is left. Or maybe things are going great! What I find comforting about this verse is that God is saying that no matter what’s happening now, He’s has a greater plan and He’s going to make something beautiful.

Something else I discovered was that living in the past limits us. It holds is back from doing God’s will. It keeps us tied and doesn’t allow us to live to our full potential. Now, people have told me before, that you just need to put things behind you and keep going, or you will never get anywhere. But to find it in the Bible- that was a hard pill to swallow…

Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62

I realised that by living in the past, I was allowing myself to be distracted from discovering God’s plan for my life!

Today’s verse took me quite a while to understand.

Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions.                               Ecclesiastes 7:10

Why was it not wise? I decided to look up the Hebrew word for wise. 

The Hebrew word for wise is chokmah.

חָכְמָה

It means piety towards God (Job 28:28). When we ask why things used to be better, we are -and I won’t mince words- essentially not being grateful. It is disrespect towards God because we are not obeying His will and plan. Now, why do I say we are not obeying His will and plan? Simply because obeying requires cheerful willingness. 

And, I’ll say, I’ve been guilty a thousand times over of not obeying God’s will for me, going over how good things used to be, trying to manipulate things to go better, and wondering why God seemed inexistent at times. I’m trying hard to change.

It’s really hard, yes.

But I guess that’s why I need God’s grace 🙂

– Szen

What are your thoughts? Are you like me, someone who lives in the past? What do you do about it? Comment below⬇! I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Dear Girl // Hang On

You know what it’s like when you’re sick and are recovering, only to fall sick again? You know what it feels like when it seems like you’ll never get well?

You know what it’s like to go through the deepest, darkest part of you life?

Yes?

You know what it’s like to think you overcame it– that things were getting better, only to find yourself crashing. again?

Yes? So do I.

When everything is a mess. when you don’t see a way out. When there’s nothing more to live for.

Yes?

When you become numb. When you silently cry out for help. When you realise you’re alone in this.

Yes?

When you have lost control of yourself. When there’s no more hope. When your heart bleeds so profusely you can barely feel anything else.

Yes?

I know. It hurts. a. lot.

And the greatest pain is in watching everyone else live a “normal” life while you are drowning– gasping for breath and pleading for help– but having to hide it all, knowing no one will understand.

Yes?

I feel you.

Dear girl, don’t give up. I know you’ve heard this a billion times, but I’m still going to say it.

Hang on. Hang on with every last bit of you. Don’t ever give up.

Saying “things’ll get better” doesn’t help– I know– so I won’t say that.

But know this, dear girl. There’s a soul out here who feels you. You are not alone. You are loved. Perhaps by no one else, but I love you.

You may have suffered at the hands of people– Christians– and have determined to hate this God who doesn’t even attempt to make things better. I don’t know what you’ve been through. If you’ve met a Christian and realised he/she was a hypocrite, I’m sorry.

I know I’m not perfect. I don’t do the slightest bit of justice to the Christian faith because of who I am.

But God still loves me. And He loves you. Wait. Don’t click that button to close this window.

I’ve questioned how He could love me despite me being the wreck I am. I’ve rejected Him– spurned Him– hated Him, even.

Yet, He is faithful. I can’t say how things will work out.

But He has brought me safe thus far.

Depression and anxiety are in no way pleasant. It’s torture. Torture to the farthest extent of the soul.

But, dear girl, don’t do anything else to yourself. This is a note to myself, too.

Don’t, dear girl. Don’t. Don’t do anything to yourself. Hang on. I love you. God does, too.

And here‘s something I’d like to share with you. 🙂 I love you, dear girl. Hang on.

Dear Girl // Because Life is Fragile

Life is fragile.

Life. Is. Fragile.

The word fragile swims in my mind. As I picture a pair of hands probing some mysterious crystal with the gentlest touch, I am brought back to that moment when I first read WOYS’ blog, “The Journey.” Perhaps I’ve never actually recorded this, but it was her blog– that artfully simple, yet strikingly honest form of expression– that inspired me to do the same. It doesn’t have to be fancy or anything– just a journal where I can express myself and just be me. Sometimes, comfort can be found in the simplest of things– pen and paper. I loved those subtle messages that I wove and sprinkled my poems generously with– it reminded me of a word’s worth– how much just a few alphabets can mean.

But I’m diverging. Life is fragile. It really is.

Life can go– just like that. Cancer, illness, suicide, murder, accidents– you name it. And sometimes, you just have to let it go.

It is that precious. It is that fragile.

Fragile enough to shatter with a thoughtless action.

Fragile enough to shatter with an ignorant look.

Fragile enough to shatter with words. Yes, words.

That’s why life needs to be handled with utmost care.

Don’t take it for-granted, dear girl.

Acknowledge and cherish the fact that you are alive for yet another day, no matter how painful it may be.

Life is fragile.

It can be gone.

Just like that.

Just another patient. Just another driver. Just another abortion. Just another suicide.

Life is fragile.

Don’t shatter another life by shattering your own. Don’t.

I know what it’s like– that unbearable agony that crushes you and rams you against the wall of hopelessness, leaving you gasping for air. Yes, I know. You see no way out.

But hang on a little longer, dear girl.

Because that little moment can mean a lot.

It will mean a lot to me.

Don’t do it. I love you.

Life is fragile.

I’m here for you. Go out there on the battlefield.

Go fight.

Go help build someone up.

Because life is fragile.